The Word in Focus with Dr Larry Taylor

[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (NRSVUE)

[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (NIV)

God is love and love believes all things. Believes, πιστεύω (transliterated, pisteuō), implies more than simple mental assent. Biblical belief is more than assenting to a bullet list of doctrinal assertions. Biblical belief is trusting. I can intellectually believe this chair will hold me. I trust the chair when I sit down in it. If I believe God, I trust God. if I truly believe the fire marshal knows the way out of the burning building, I will follow her.

Trust is vital in all relationships. It is the glue that binds good marriages. How can you truly love someone you don’t trust? Trust leads to feeling warm, accepted, safe. It involves confidence that the other is reliable. Trust fosters connection, which leads to feeling secure and supported. Trust enables us to share our true selves, leading to deeper connections and authenticity. Trust encourages vulnerability, mutual sharing, and coöperative problem-solving. Trust is the ligament of togetherness. An abundance of research as well as the observations of thousands of marriage counselors and psychologists concur. 

My default position is trust. When I walk down a city street, I do so assuming that most of those around me are basically trustworthy. I generally assume most people I do business with are honest. My world is (generally speaking) a safe world. But that’s not so easy for some people. 

Some people were raised in environments of betrayal. When young children are betrayed by one or both parents or other trusted authority figures, or when they are not protected, they grow up cautious, suspicious, apprehensive, mistrustful. For them, the world is a scary place.

Of course it’s wise to be aware of one’s surroundings, avoid dark parking lots, and know where the exits are in your hotel. I wear trousers that discourage pickpockets when I’m in crowds. Naïveté is not trusting; it’s stupid. It seems paradoxical, but those who are deeply loyal sometimes also live under the assumption that the world is basically an unsafe place. In some cases, it isn’t safe – gang-ridden neighborhoods, housing near toxic waste, being Hispanic or Latino in a city invaded by unidentifiable, heavily armed ICE agents. It was not safe to be a Jew in eastern Europe in the 1930s. It’s not safe to be a young black man in America.

Healthy individuals, however, tend to assume the best in others. They are not naïve, but they see the world as fundamentally safe unless circumstances clearly indicate otherwise. They assume others are basically good unless they prove themselves otherwise. Unhealthy individuals live under a cloud of suspiciousness and fear. They assume betrayal and anticipate harm. Suspiciousness and fear undermine their relationships. Lack of trust is toxic.

Lack of trust may be variously focused, depending on the root cause of the suspiciousness. Some people are afraid of all men, or all women, or all white people, or all black people, or all rich people, or all law enforcement officers. They may not mistrust everyone – just those in a particular subgroup. Perhaps someone in that subgroup hurt or betrayed them in the past. Perhaps they were taught racist or misogynist ideology. Maybe they are deeply insecure in their own sexuality or social position. 

Fear and suspiciousness lead to hypervigilance. The fearful person expects to be hurt, betrayed, and is on constant alert, which has adverse implications for physical health. Hypervigilance can lead to paranoia. The suspicious person reads betrayal into innocent situations and sees danger where none exists.

Enter God. Trust is key to our relationship with God as well as with others. The first humans broke fellowship with God by lack of trust. Has God really said that? Does God really have your best interest in mind? Lack of trust leads to exile from the garden. Continued lack of trust leads to the wilderness and eventually slavery in Babylon.

When God lead the ancient Israelites out of Egypt, God chose to take them to Canaan by way of the wilderness, not only because the short route meant conflict with the Philistines, but in order to teach them to trust. They had been slaves for 400 years. It’s hard to break a slave mentality after that many generations. That’s why they kept wanting to turn back. 

In the wilderness, there was no food or water. The sun was brutally hot by day. The desert was cold at night and filled with wild nocturnal beasts. They had to learn to trust God for food, water, and protection. Manna, fresh every morning, but only take what you need for today. Fresh water from a rock. An umbrella of cloud by day and fire by night – protection. Those born and raised in the wilderness learned to trust God. They entered the garden land flowing with milk and honey. 

Sadly, subsequent generations failed to trust God. For centuries, they trusted their own ingenuity, military might, and false gods. They wound up in Babylon and never recovered. Yes, a small group went back to Canaan under Persian authority, but from 587 BC until 70 AD, they were never free. Israel and Judah were vassal states to Babylon, Persia, Greece, Syria, and Rome. In 70 AD Rome utterly crushed the nation out of existence.

The point is that we cannot have a relationship with God if we do not trust God.  most of us say we do trust God, but do we? Really? Do we believe God will provide all we need in a collapsed economy and an environment of powerful disasters caused by human pollution? Do we believe God will protect us in an authoritarian fascist state? Do we truly believe God is trustworthy? 

Trust, whether with God, your partner, your neighbor, friend or coworker, begins with a decision. We must consciously decide to trust. The more dedicated we are to prayer, the more we will trust. I do not mean prayer to get stuff or favors from God. I mean contemplative prayer – sitting in the presence of God and listening as God speaks divine love over us. I mean entering into the fellowship of God’s sufferings, learning empathy, learning to hold joy and sorrow in tension. I mean Calvary. Selfless sacrifice. I mean Easter Sunday – the hope of physical resurrection and the renovation of the cosmos. Sitting with Jesus forms us to be more like Jesus. Jesus is trustworthy and trusting.

Then begins the hard work (this is where therapy and spiritual direction come in) of figuring out the roots of my distrust and healing ancient (sometimes intergenerational) wounds that have warped my views of God and others. Gradually, I am learning that I am eternally safe in a world gone mad. Gradually, I am learning to see all others as beloved of God and created in the divine image. Gradually, I am learning to love all that God created. Gradually, I am learning that God is trustworthy.