Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee
I sincerely pray that all the people I’ve hurt in my life will forgive me.
I really thought I was being faithful to God when I kicked people out of church and Bible college because they had an affair.
I thought I was being true to God’s Word when I condemned LGBTQ+ folks from the pulpit.
I honestly thought God favored the United States of America above other nations.
I thought I was speaking on behalf of God when I proclaimed militarism, championed gun ownership, and waved my nationalism.
I was a hypocrite.
I am so sorry.
God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Posted on February 23, 2023, in anabaptist, Kingdom Life, kingdom of God, Life Coaching, Peace Shalom Hesed, Spiritual Direction, Spirituality. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.
My comment disappeared and WordPress made me sign-in again. So here goes my 2nd try:
Pastor Larry, You were & are a prayerful, honest believer; a man of conscience. You answered to Pastor Chuck in matters of Bible College leadership.
As I recall, you told Pastor Chuck everything, and followed his advice.
You were selected from among thousands of qualified leaders in the larger Calvary Chapel community. Yet no one expected you to be perfect.
Some students came to Bible college looking for a spouse. Some affairs could be discretely and prayerfully carried-out with a view toward marriage.
Yet there were predatory situations, and you had to draw a line to protect the gullible.
One young man thought the older women were likely to get physical faster than the starry-eyed maidens his own age. In the end, a lady in my age group was broken-hearted, because the boy had an easy-exit from the relationship: He couldn’t marry a woman his mother’s age! That was predatory. He had never been sincere, but cased-us-out and selected the most vulnerable one.
I was in the class when one of our teachers revealed that he was bisexual, offering to go out with the ladies or the men. You did no wrong to send him away, since the classroom wasn’t meant to be his hunting ground! His offer implied that a better grade could be possible through improper behavior.
Later, in SF, the same student was accepted at Promised Land, and the preacher there noted how “some churches” were intolerant, kicking people out if they struggled with homosexuality. But is predatory behavior mere struggling? Hardly!
Man’s day is highly critical. Jesus Himself was attacked as a law-breaker when he showed His healing mercy on the Sabbath. He need not apologize for offending anyone! He was shepherding His sheep into wholeness and rest.
In your turn, you shepherded the students according to what was best for them to focus on the Bible. In that pastoral function, did Chuck ever find fault? No.
Sometimes those students needed tough love. It’s very hard to judge these things before the time.
God’s day will try the hearts and motives. Then He will separate the gold from the stubble.
Paul the Apostle, while repenting of some things, wouldn’t judge himself in other matters “before the time.”
Sometimes a fresh grief brings to mind every other grief, so that things which were long ago dealt with under the cross come back to haunt us.
May our Lord rebuke the enemy of our souls and free us anew from the accuser of the brethren!